I was introduced this weekend to a running group that I've seen a lot around town. I had not recognized the group before, but it was obvious it was for a cause, simply by their name, Runnin' For Rhett. Those baby blue shirts were everywhere, on every trail I was on, all weekend long runs, there they were. The shirt logo had a picture of a boy on it, and I got the basics of his story when I met this boys mother, Beth over the weekend.
Rhett was a seven year old child born with Severe Cerebral Palsy. He was a loved and cherished child who passed away, leaving behind a devastated family. His mother, Beth started running shortly after his death, as a way to cope with the intense loss of her child.
Hearing this woman talk, I felt that quivering rock in the pit of my stomach, that aching need to release the emotion I was feeling with what I was hearing. It was so full of emotion for me that I barely could squeak out the words how amazing she was and what a great thing she was doing in memory of her son. It was all I could do not to break down in tears of my own.
Today I am twenty days shy of the 2 year anniversary of the death of my father. It was less than a year after my dad died of skin cancer that I started running. I can't say for sure if it was his death that urged me to run, I may never know. In any case, a few years before that, I watched my older brother go from a strong as an ox, perfectly capable guy with a smart ass mouth, to a bed ridden guy who towards the end could barely hold a coffee cup or remember our names due to his inoperable brain tumor. With my dad, I suppose the death was a dash more bearable, as he was 75. While not yet ready to say goodbye, we knew it would be tough to cram in more life into those 75 years as my dad really did have a good long full life.
My brother? Not so much. My brother was 44 when he died. Too soon was he gone, unable to take that trip to Alaska he always dreamed about, unable to buy that jeep he talked about, unable to go camping one last time. His death made me so very angry, with the solitary reason, he wasn't done living. Not by far. he may as well have had a to-do list to carry around with him because he wasn't done living.
A couple of years after that, it was my 28 year old nephew. Died suddenly, all of a sudden gone. We learned that his young body was riddled with cancer, yet no one knew. From what I understand, his goal was to beat cancer, not worry anyone and then surprise the world with ' I beat cancer'. But he never got the chance.
I guess in a sense, part of the divine given reason I watched the decline and death of my loved ones is a simple reminder of one thing: I'm not done. While I often struggle with it, I do know this. Right now, I still can. I can run, I can walk, I can breathe deep, I can show up to a workout or a race and do what I have to do. There's so many out there who can't.
Part of the Runnin' For Rhett philosophy is 'do it while you can' {or something to that effect}. Perhaps why I was touched so deeply on the emotional level, is because it immediately made me think of my lost family members. There's still so much living to do and how many times do we not do it? I know I'm guilty of this.
Being busy, feeling lazy, tired, overwhelmed, stress, drama occurring....we are always going to have a reason not to live life to the fullest. We can get thrown off track with a simple phone call, late bill, broken dishwasher, whatever. We cease living a lot of the times when things get tough. Understandable and easy to do. We change our routines, shift around priorities and things get thrown in the mix, often times without our even realizing what were giving up. But so much of it is so very important to remember not to give up on the things that matter the most.
Running, for me has been a part of that. I'll admit when things get busy, crazy, and overwhelming, sadly running is often the first to be crossed off the list. I wish I knew better how to prioritize, organize and put it all together better to get the most out of life. Still working on that.
It's refreshing though, that nearly everyone has a reason to run. Rhett, cancer, therapy, buns of pudding, emotions, last nights wine, turning 60, mental clarity, morale, modeling, running away from pain of death, divorce or any other loss. Everyone has a reason to run. It's our lives, it's our reasons for living, for incorporating the surge of life we get from running into our daily existence. It's literall running for our lives.
No comments:
Post a Comment