The Happiest Limit

I decided one of the greatest things about doing the Half Marathon is that I learned my current limit. 
For this race, despite the weird mental stuff I had going on, it was about mile ten that I realized ' OK, I'm about done' and I really was.  The last three miles were really a push and a half. 

Today is day three post race and I'm pretty sure my mental state is coming back to normal, whatever the hell that is. Days leading up to the race were horrible. And I do mean horrible. The stress of the upcoming daunting task I had gotten myself into was more stress than my wedding, law school or going to confession. I learned my limits though, and I believe this is it! I know what I can handle and right now, this is the top of my threshold of mental, emotional and physical limitations. So very cool.

Why is that cool? Because so few people, I've learned, actually push themselves to the brink of their limits. They have absolutely no idea what they are capable of. I am right along with them, except for this one particular pinpoint in my world.  No clue as to how far we can all be pushed before we break.  None. And right at this very moment, yep, I know how far I can be pushed before I absolutely crumble. And crumble I almost did. But I didn't. 

I cant decide if I would do another half again.  Quite likely yes, but I'm not counting on that.  I believe my limit for the moment is ten miles.  It was at the ten mile mark I knew I was done. Would I want the hard task of another half at some point?  Possibly.  I'm not really looking for one right now.  I think my ten miles is a good thing to keep it at right now. 

So the first question everyone is asking " Are you doing a  full marathon next?"
While it's a perfectly understandable and expected question, I'd so like to respond something like "yes, as soon as I birth 12 babies fathered by the pope"  Just to be a smartass.  No, not going to happen. For now anyway. I'll never say never though.  God knows when I turn 50, I might have something else to prove  I might be old and cranky as a bat, but damnit, I can RUN!
  Yeah that's it. 

But the exciting part is knowing exactly what my limit is right now.  I don't ever think that I've felt that before, nor have I actually ever been brave/daring/stupid enough to push it.  I no longer feel that need to strive for more right now.  I no longer feel the need to push it.  How in the world someone like me ever got that 'need to push' is beyond me.  As I've said in the past, I do secretly fear I'm an internally lazy person. 

I've already registered for a 10 miler coming up in a little over a month and I can't wait.