Thursday, September 6, 2012

Now I've done it.

At the end of this session of 'running school' is a half marathon/5k.  I signed up for the 5k, thinking piece of cake, I got that. No, of course I wouldn't have an impressive time, nor be able to run the entire thing, but hey, one more run under my belt, one more bib to hang on my pride wall, right? 

So how in God's name did I end up signed up for the Half Marathon Relay?  Are you kidding me?

We seem to be having an issue with peer pressure here in my world.
  
At home, I deal with my ten year old being teased because she's a good student, kind and sweet.  For this she's picked on.  Of course she is, jealous hating adults start that way as kids, right?  I've been telling her that their words do not matter one bit.  She knows what she is, she knows what she wants to be and be like, she knows what she can expect of herself.  Forget those hurtful words, kiddo.  Ignore the haters, you are just fine the way you are.  Perfect in fact.  I always fear the day when peer pressure will make her start to act stupid and do moronic acts that will lead her to trouble.  Peer Pressure is what can lead to trouble, right?
Right. 
On the other side of the social media platform, I find a request for a half marathon relay partner.  I reply to my friend 'gosh I wish I was ready' and it all went spinning out of control from there.  I don't even know what happened and here I am, committed to a half marathon relay. I'm pretty sure I was breathing throughout the conversation on Facebook, yet whether I had full consciousness I don't recall.   I listened to their words of encouragement ' you can do it'  and ' you got this' and whatnot and I liked it.  I followed their words to the keyboard to respond " I'm in" and just like that, I'm committed. 

What the hell??

Peer Pressure, all the way. 
I'd never do it had it not been for the peeps pushing me to test my limits, stretch the boundaries of my own comfort, and push myself harder than ever before.  I've got to be out of my ever loving mind.  I've got 32 days to increase my mileage to 6.55 miles from the max of 4.0 that I've ever done.  I think I'm going to be sick now. 

But I'll admit a small part of me loves it.  These people, these outsiders who might have a good idea about me, but truly can't see the real internal stuff I'm about simply tell me to go for it.  Whether or not they believe it, they tell me I can do it.  I will work it, I will train and do what I can.  I can't miss work to train, I have to sleep, I have to be a parent and a wife, but somehow by the grace of God, I will do this. 

It's so odd to me how 12 hours ago, I was telling kiddo just the opposite of what I'm doing.  I told her to forget the words of others, they don't matter.  I told her the only person's opinion you need to be concerned about is your own.  I told her other people were so often jealous and hating things, and taking it out of the good people. 
My God, I was wrong...so very wrong.  Was I? 
Had I taken my own advice, I'd never have glanced twice at the words of those telling me I can do it.  I never would have even read them.  Their words don't matter.  Oh the hell they don't.  My running and/or fitness people's words are my bible.  Seriously. 
 The only person's opinion you need to be concerned about is your own.   Well if that was the case, I'd never have gotten off the damn couch.  Fat chicks don't run.  I'm too fat to run, I'm too old. I look dumb when I run, I can't run.  Yeah okay, that little gem of advice is wrong.  Very wrong.  When it comes to me, my abilities, my strength, my skills, my own 'stuff' I'm likely the last person I should listen to. 
 Other people were so often jealous and hating things, and taking it out of the good people. 
  Oh Lord, not even close.  In this case, these runner buds are doing nothing but wanting to build me up.  Jealous of me? Not for a minute.  For some God known reason, it's like things like jealousy, competition and stupid ugliness doesn't exist in the runners world.  Does it?

Nope. 
It's times like this I love being an adult. 

  

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