Wednesday, March 12, 2014

The Non Directional Mess

I've been well aware of my increasing times, decreasing speed for awhile now, but with a lack of direction, ( and ya know, good eating habits and all the jazz) it occurs to me that I desperately need a plan. 
I remember hearing and seeing for eons about 'signing up for a race will motivate and scare you into doing what you need to do'.  Is that what I need? 
This is somewhat familiar territory for me, as after my first 5k, I seriously had no idea what to do next.  Work on speed?  Work on running the full thing?  Work on increased mileage? 
I opted for increased mileage and did just that, all the way to the Half Marathon a year ago, but now, I don't even know what I want.  There's a large part of me that hates running with a passion, there's also a big part of me that loves it, because I know exactly how freakin' hard it is, and it prides me to be able to say ' I did that'. 
I am forever wondering why I do it.  Maybe that's the problem.  Why ask why, anyway? Does it really matter?

Okay, so let me pretend that a big race is exactly what's needed.  I'm not ready to even consider a full marathon.  Nope, not yet.  Another half, perhaps.  But with summer and hotter than hell weather coming up, I'm not sure about that either.  The trouble is, I have no idea what I want. At all.

Why, What, Where, When, Who.....the list of never ending questions is making me batty. 
In the end, what does it really come down to, anyway?


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