I've been well aware of my increasing times, decreasing speed for awhile now, but with a lack of direction, ( and ya know, good eating habits and all the jazz) it occurs to me that I desperately need a plan.
I remember hearing and seeing for eons about 'signing up for a race will motivate and scare you into doing what you need to do'. Is that what I need?
This is somewhat familiar territory for me, as after my first 5k, I seriously had no idea what to do next. Work on speed? Work on running the full thing? Work on increased mileage?
I opted for increased mileage and did just that, all the way to the Half Marathon a year ago, but now, I don't even know what I want. There's a large part of me that hates running with a passion, there's also a big part of me that loves it, because I know exactly how freakin' hard it is, and it prides me to be able to say ' I did that'.
I am forever wondering why I do it. Maybe that's the problem. Why ask why, anyway? Does it really matter?
Okay, so let me pretend that a big race is exactly what's needed. I'm not ready to even consider a full marathon. Nope, not yet. Another half, perhaps. But with summer and hotter than hell weather coming up, I'm not sure about that either. The trouble is, I have no idea what I want. At all.
Why, What, Where, When, Who.....the list of never ending questions is making me batty.
In the end, what does it really come down to, anyway?
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Monday, March 10, 2014
Taking a Load Off
Another challenge came before me that of course I could not pass up- a series of races through A Change Of Pace Foundation, to complete a certain number of races they host and get more bling.
Now if you know me, I can't say no to bling. I love the bling on the walls of my tiny hallway, people bumping into them to make a clinking sound...just like champagne glasses- OK, not really. I had signed up for the Lucky Run, which was a nice 7K (4.34 miles) that I thought was doable without killing myself. I signed up, only to realize my two comrades were already doing the 7 mile route.
So of course, like I do, I crumbled at the least bit of peer pressure and switched to the 7 mile.....for one reason only.
We were walking it.
One friend is a walker. She's not a runner, might never be a runner, but she walks & she rocks. So there would be no running on this particular one, it was something I had never done before since I started running. Walk it all.
The first thing I noticed was the night before, there was not huge anticipation, no nervousness, no feeling of utter dread about the harder than hell task I was facing. It was a simple, relaxed anticipation. That was huge for me. The feeling of dread before a race is usually this enormous load on my mind, at times weighing me down like a piano sitting on my back. Never a good feeling, and lately? It's almost enough to get me to stay home. The feeling of dread appears worse and worse these days, as lets face it...running IS harder for me. Not doing anything in terms of cross training, eating bad, not hydrating...so of course I'm going to dread it. I'm making it 10X harder for myself.
So the concept of walking it was a new one and while I didn't completely discount the difficulty of it all, I knew it would be much easier than running it. Longer, but easier, sure. I loaded up and prepared as I would any race and we were off.
While I was glad for the change in pace and whatnot, I was baffled at the non-use of headphones. I was super glad to have two to talk to, but honestly, I'll admit I missed my headphones and the pump up music to get me going. But that being said, the conversation was great, I loved just chatting about everything and nothing all at the same time.
I guess one could point out that I've forgotten about walking. Just walking. My patience is the biggest issue here though. Less than half way through, I just wanted to be done....knowing we had a long time ahead of us, yeah, that was tough. But in the end, we walked it, we laughed, we bitched and we finished.
Now if you know me, I can't say no to bling. I love the bling on the walls of my tiny hallway, people bumping into them to make a clinking sound...just like champagne glasses- OK, not really. I had signed up for the Lucky Run, which was a nice 7K (4.34 miles) that I thought was doable without killing myself. I signed up, only to realize my two comrades were already doing the 7 mile route.
So of course, like I do, I crumbled at the least bit of peer pressure and switched to the 7 mile.....for one reason only.
We were walking it.
One friend is a walker. She's not a runner, might never be a runner, but she walks & she rocks. So there would be no running on this particular one, it was something I had never done before since I started running. Walk it all.
The first thing I noticed was the night before, there was not huge anticipation, no nervousness, no feeling of utter dread about the harder than hell task I was facing. It was a simple, relaxed anticipation. That was huge for me. The feeling of dread before a race is usually this enormous load on my mind, at times weighing me down like a piano sitting on my back. Never a good feeling, and lately? It's almost enough to get me to stay home. The feeling of dread appears worse and worse these days, as lets face it...running IS harder for me. Not doing anything in terms of cross training, eating bad, not hydrating...so of course I'm going to dread it. I'm making it 10X harder for myself.
So the concept of walking it was a new one and while I didn't completely discount the difficulty of it all, I knew it would be much easier than running it. Longer, but easier, sure. I loaded up and prepared as I would any race and we were off.
While I was glad for the change in pace and whatnot, I was baffled at the non-use of headphones. I was super glad to have two to talk to, but honestly, I'll admit I missed my headphones and the pump up music to get me going. But that being said, the conversation was great, I loved just chatting about everything and nothing all at the same time.
I guess one could point out that I've forgotten about walking. Just walking. My patience is the biggest issue here though. Less than half way through, I just wanted to be done....knowing we had a long time ahead of us, yeah, that was tough. But in the end, we walked it, we laughed, we bitched and we finished.
Monday, March 3, 2014
Finding the Passion: Is It Possible?
I recently read a comment on Facebook recently about someone who was irritated about not getting in her evening run.
"Nothing feels the same. I hate days I can't run." she wrote. She felt her entire world was knocked off balance as she wasn't able to do the one thing she loves. Run.
As soon as I read that, I had a mini surge of excitement, knowing that I would NOT be running that evening, and I was glad. happy. Elated. But of course...I also wondered why I didn't have the same experience. Why didn't I feel the loss of running when I wasn't able to? Why didn't I have the drive to run even when I didn't need to or didn't have time?
When I miss a running workout, I feel glad that I don't have to do it. It's hard. Of course I don't want to do it. Whether it's a buddy cancelling out, a twinge in my ankle, a scheduling conflict, whenever I'm am unable to run, my emotions are a mix of relief, happiness and guilt. I hate feeling happy over it, because I think I'm supposed to love it. But I don't. Still. I used to get a LOT more joy out of it, but then I worked harder at it too. These days I'm lucky if I get three runs a week in- and even those are 3 miles or less-. I'm confident there's a connection there, work harder, enjoy it more, but the motivation is lacking as well.
I feel like I have to keep revisiting this issue over and over and I whine about it every time. I have experienced that 'thing' in me that makes me feel like I'm on fire and cannot and will not ever stop...I love the feeling more than anything...yet it doesn't last.
Maybe it comes from not having a set goal in mind, maybe it comes from not having the 'whole' package of decent eating and exercise going on for me right now. Maybe I'm expecting too much, maybe need to account more, the fact that I have a full time job, a family and other 'stuff' going on all at once. In any case....something is lacking. Something huge. It has been for awhile, but I push on anyway. I'm thinking it's quite likely time to start reading again, the many books I have on the subject. The old issues of Women's Running and Runner's World magazines. Those usually can ignite a spark of inspiration.
What I do know, is that I've been stagnant for too long. Not a minute of cross training, little or no running training and I'm not happy with it. I don't know if I'll find the passion I'm needing, but I have to start somewhere, right? One foot in front of the other....I know this stuff like the back of my hand. I tell it to people all the time. Yet doing it for myself? Now that's the hard part.
"Nothing feels the same. I hate days I can't run." she wrote. She felt her entire world was knocked off balance as she wasn't able to do the one thing she loves. Run.
As soon as I read that, I had a mini surge of excitement, knowing that I would NOT be running that evening, and I was glad. happy. Elated. But of course...I also wondered why I didn't have the same experience. Why didn't I feel the loss of running when I wasn't able to? Why didn't I have the drive to run even when I didn't need to or didn't have time?
When I miss a running workout, I feel glad that I don't have to do it. It's hard. Of course I don't want to do it. Whether it's a buddy cancelling out, a twinge in my ankle, a scheduling conflict, whenever I'm am unable to run, my emotions are a mix of relief, happiness and guilt. I hate feeling happy over it, because I think I'm supposed to love it. But I don't. Still. I used to get a LOT more joy out of it, but then I worked harder at it too. These days I'm lucky if I get three runs a week in- and even those are 3 miles or less-. I'm confident there's a connection there, work harder, enjoy it more, but the motivation is lacking as well.
I feel like I have to keep revisiting this issue over and over and I whine about it every time. I have experienced that 'thing' in me that makes me feel like I'm on fire and cannot and will not ever stop...I love the feeling more than anything...yet it doesn't last.
Maybe it comes from not having a set goal in mind, maybe it comes from not having the 'whole' package of decent eating and exercise going on for me right now. Maybe I'm expecting too much, maybe need to account more, the fact that I have a full time job, a family and other 'stuff' going on all at once. In any case....something is lacking. Something huge. It has been for awhile, but I push on anyway. I'm thinking it's quite likely time to start reading again, the many books I have on the subject. The old issues of Women's Running and Runner's World magazines. Those usually can ignite a spark of inspiration.
What I do know, is that I've been stagnant for too long. Not a minute of cross training, little or no running training and I'm not happy with it. I don't know if I'll find the passion I'm needing, but I have to start somewhere, right? One foot in front of the other....I know this stuff like the back of my hand. I tell it to people all the time. Yet doing it for myself? Now that's the hard part.
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