Saturday was my longest scheduled run ever. A training run for the half marathon. Seven miles.
I had been working on my mental game for awhile, knew what I had to do, told myself what I was going to do, set myself up mentally and just did it.
As with any long run, I got the inevitable thought invasion:
" What the hell am I doing?"
" This is the craziest.sh!t.ever"
" Why am I doing this? I can't remember"
And there it is. Ironically, when I was trying to remember why I was doing this, I honestly could not remember. Virtually nothing came to mind when I was thinking of why I was doing this, what made me start this and why I'd continue. It wasn't feeling good. It wasn't fun. It wasn't impressing anyone. I'm certainly not yet a size 10. I'm tired of the constant battle of hard vs. easy. I'm tired of juggling so much. I'm just tired.
I decided after this half marathon, in March I was going to be done. Retiring running forever. I did my thing, I proved I can do what I can do. I'm done.
Oh dammit. I already registered for the Triathlon in July. Son of a duck, I have to keep going.
So it got me to thinking, why DON'T I quit?
I don't quit because it's hard.
[ I'd say plain and simple here, but knowing my thought process, it's anything BUT plain and simple]
I don't quit because it's hard, meaning a couple of things.
a) I don't quit even though it's hard
b) I don't quit because it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
With the first meaning, I don't quit because it's hard means I don't stop when the going gets tough, because I too, am tough. The days that I'm not? I simply give myself no other choice There are times when I cannot believe what I've lived through. Which really, in the grand schemes of things? It's nothing comparatively.
The second meaning, I don't quit because it's hard, means I'm essentially inviting the hardest thing in the world into my life. It's because it's hard is why I don't quit. It's the 'hard' that makes it great. It's the 'hard' that makes it the gigantor accomplishment it really is to me.
My sister reads a lot of books on the Holocaust and other war survival stories. She once told me that she reads things like that helps her to realize that no matter how bad we have it, there's always someone with a harder story. Lord is that true. So very very true. I'll admit I've had it relatively easy for much of my life. No major victimage, no horrific drama to live through, no wars or diseases. While not the Waltons or the Brady Bunch life, I have had it pretty good.
I think I choose hard challenges to keep myself trying. If everything we easy, I'm pretty sure I'd get used to that and even the simplest thing would become hard. I guess in the twisted mind of me, if I keep pushing myself, then I become better?
Better at what, I have no clue. Part of me, which I know is both a detriment and an asset, is that I'm always looking for improvement. I'd like to think no part of me will ever stand still. Always reaching, always striving for more. So much of me fears being stale, stagnant, boring, bored, lazy, so I keep striving. Sure, I might now succeed, I might not make any real changes, I might not actually get the accomplishment I want, but for some reason I'm at a point where I cannot seem to stop for long. Again, a detriment and an asset at it's best and worst.
It's kinda a new theory I'm working on, one that is in development still. It's interesting to me, yet at the same time, it all makes me kinda tired.
Ironically, though I feared my 7 mile run on Saturday, my Garmin read 7.502 miles at the end of it. Okay. I got this.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
It.
In my earlier post, I described how 'it' is back. So what is 'it'??
Honesly I have no idea if I can explain it. I'm confident there are other runners out there who know exactly what I'm talking about. They know that 'it' is common, needed...whatever.
It.
A freedom. A feeling. A detmination. A knowledge. A new kind of confidence. A happiness. A strength. An enjoyment. A power. A balance. An excitment. An ability. A talent. A challenge. A zone. A meditation. A thought process. A success. An adrenaline. A push. A speed. An epiphany.
It comes and goes, nothing I do or say seems to be able to bring it on. It's the best feeling I think I could ever have. It's when running goes from scary, harder than hell, not that enjoyable to all of a sudden a successful, amazing enjoyable thing I can't get enough of. When I first started running, I remember a feeling of dread everytime practice days came along. It was hard. I don't like hard. At some point, I remember 'it'. All of a sudden, it wasn't as hard. It was actually becoming enjoyable. I suddenly had a new confidence about it. I suddenly could not wait to run. I don't think I was any better, faster or anything like that. It's just that it was fitting well with me much better.
I have no idea how to hold onto 'it', but I know I love it. I cherish it and I believe it makes me better all around. Happier, stronger, balanced, tolerant, kinder, more organized....It's just simply awesome.
Honesly I have no idea if I can explain it. I'm confident there are other runners out there who know exactly what I'm talking about. They know that 'it' is common, needed...whatever.
It.
A freedom. A feeling. A detmination. A knowledge. A new kind of confidence. A happiness. A strength. An enjoyment. A power. A balance. An excitment. An ability. A talent. A challenge. A zone. A meditation. A thought process. A success. An adrenaline. A push. A speed. An epiphany.
It comes and goes, nothing I do or say seems to be able to bring it on. It's the best feeling I think I could ever have. It's when running goes from scary, harder than hell, not that enjoyable to all of a sudden a successful, amazing enjoyable thing I can't get enough of. When I first started running, I remember a feeling of dread everytime practice days came along. It was hard. I don't like hard. At some point, I remember 'it'. All of a sudden, it wasn't as hard. It was actually becoming enjoyable. I suddenly had a new confidence about it. I suddenly could not wait to run. I don't think I was any better, faster or anything like that. It's just that it was fitting well with me much better.
I have no idea how to hold onto 'it', but I know I love it. I cherish it and I believe it makes me better all around. Happier, stronger, balanced, tolerant, kinder, more organized....It's just simply awesome.
The Click
Last night on a training run, 'it' came back. I can't say I know exactly what 'it' is, but I was in the zone, I did my thing and I kicked ass!
I was complaining to my Coach shortly before we started about being a 'late bloomer' kinda thing. I absolutely must warm up with a walk anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 miles. Then I can go for a run. She pointed out that it's simple, long distances work for me. Me, really? huh. But it is true. My frustration with the shorter runs, is that by the time I get fully warmed up, I'm done. It frustrates me, because every day I see people who step on the trail and wham...they run. They don't seem to need the warm up like I do and they just...GO. How do they DO that?? I know I know...everyone is different.
Anywho, last night before we even started, I did a one mile walk, to warm up. My calves were burning, but I kept on. I started at the front of the group and I went. I figured I had had enough of a warm up to just go, so I did. My calves were still burning. Not nearly as crippling as usual, but it was hard. I took my walk breaks when needed, but with every millisecond someone passing me, I felt the need for speed. It was, after all a speed work night, so I just went.
Our total time was for 45 minutes. 10 minute warm up, 22.5 minute run,turn around.
I broke the rules a bit...my goal was to get in at least 3 miles in that time. At 1.5 miles I turned around. What happened next I don't even know how, or why...but I ran almost all the way back. I did take a few very very short ( less than 30 seconds) walk breaks. I'd say in the mile and a half back, I likely walked less than two minutes of it.
Where the hell did that come from?!
Never before had I even run one mile straight. Never before had I gone that far, for that long without walking, panting, internally whining and feeling sorry for myself. It was unbelievable. Just at the point where I was ready to start my usual aforementioned crap, I saw the glorious headlights of Howe Avenue where I knew my turnoff was. I ran.
Before last night, there was so much doubt swirling in my head about what I was doing that it made me dizzy. I feared constantly that I had taken too much time off around the holidays that I'd never ever get it back. I had, of course, NO faith in what I have done in the past, and what I could do again.
Part of me realizes that this too is new to me. Of course I had no faith. I'd never taken that much time off and then had to get 'it' back. So there's no real way I would have known. The experiences that I face everyday is what make me stronger. Well, that...and a helluva a lot of work.
I was complaining to my Coach shortly before we started about being a 'late bloomer' kinda thing. I absolutely must warm up with a walk anywhere from 15 minutes to 2 miles. Then I can go for a run. She pointed out that it's simple, long distances work for me. Me, really? huh. But it is true. My frustration with the shorter runs, is that by the time I get fully warmed up, I'm done. It frustrates me, because every day I see people who step on the trail and wham...they run. They don't seem to need the warm up like I do and they just...GO. How do they DO that?? I know I know...everyone is different.
Anywho, last night before we even started, I did a one mile walk, to warm up. My calves were burning, but I kept on. I started at the front of the group and I went. I figured I had had enough of a warm up to just go, so I did. My calves were still burning. Not nearly as crippling as usual, but it was hard. I took my walk breaks when needed, but with every millisecond someone passing me, I felt the need for speed. It was, after all a speed work night, so I just went.
Our total time was for 45 minutes. 10 minute warm up, 22.5 minute run,turn around.
I broke the rules a bit...my goal was to get in at least 3 miles in that time. At 1.5 miles I turned around. What happened next I don't even know how, or why...but I ran almost all the way back. I did take a few very very short ( less than 30 seconds) walk breaks. I'd say in the mile and a half back, I likely walked less than two minutes of it.
Where the hell did that come from?!
Never before had I even run one mile straight. Never before had I gone that far, for that long without walking, panting, internally whining and feeling sorry for myself. It was unbelievable. Just at the point where I was ready to start my usual aforementioned crap, I saw the glorious headlights of Howe Avenue where I knew my turnoff was. I ran.
Before last night, there was so much doubt swirling in my head about what I was doing that it made me dizzy. I feared constantly that I had taken too much time off around the holidays that I'd never ever get it back. I had, of course, NO faith in what I have done in the past, and what I could do again.
Part of me realizes that this too is new to me. Of course I had no faith. I'd never taken that much time off and then had to get 'it' back. So there's no real way I would have known. The experiences that I face everyday is what make me stronger. Well, that...and a helluva a lot of work.
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Ok, On to the Good Stuff- Why I run for Sherry
In Yesterday's post, I told you the heartbreaking and angering story of Sherry Arnold. The wife, mother, teacher, runner that disappeared in a morning run. Making us all remember that we are so very vulnerable as runners out there. Casting a certain ugliness into the sport.
Today, I want to bring some life and light into the ugliness that has to be acknowledged.
Sherry's cousin, a blogger I've been following for quite some time and have come to love, Shut Up and Run is announcing the 2nd annual virtual Run for Sherry. Happening on 2/9/13, it's a run to simply remember. To ensure that running is not a fading sport. To ensure that in the midst of tragedy, runners will run on. We may be scared out there, but we are not going to allow the bad to overcome the goodness only fellow runners can understand.
Without this sport, so many of us would never ever know our true potential. We would see other runners and be in awe of what they can do. Never understanding that the race or event we see is only about a tenth of the battle. The training, the time away from home, the aches, the pains, the missing toenails, the embarrassing occurrences...all of it remains to be seen to so many.
We would never know just how far we can push ourselves. We would never know just how much our bodies could do. We would never know just how strong we really are.
Runners are a breed of their own. I've come to acknowledge that over the past year. Rain, snow, thunder, hills, flood, Hurricane Sandy...it seems nothing can keep them down. The determination, the dedication, the will power to simply keep going is amazing. Whether or not I can be included in that breed, I have yet to determine. At times the title seems too great, as though I've not yet earned it. Other times, I take the title easily. I think it's truly an honor to be considered a runner.
I recently was with my training group out on a long winding trail near the river in my town. It's a popular spot for runners, walkers and bikers. As I'm still one of the slowest, I found myself far behind most of the group, not another trainee, coach or mentor in sight. Though my 'mates' were not there to encourage me, I was shocked at how many clearly experienced runners went by me telling me 'You look great.' 'You are doing it'. 'Good for you' ....Each and everyone I wondered "do I know you?"
No, I don't. They don't know me either. But it didn't matter. They saw me, obviously not having an easy go at it. They see that I'm a 'round runner' and they know how hard it is. Let's face it, even being the fit, thin, athletes they are, likely it's still hard for them too. Encouragement from stranger after stranger after stranger. It made me glow with pride, love and peace.
Where else in the world could I ever get that kind of support from perfect strangers?
I can't think of anywhere else, in any other situation.
It's reasons like this we need to run for Sherry. Print out the bib. Wear it with pride. It's possible, when you run on Saturday, someone might stop and ask you who she she is. Share her story. The fact that you run for a perfect stranger might touch them in a way that will bring some light to the world. It's possible someone else will be wearing the same bib. A common connection bringing strangers together. In the wake of such sad tragedy, it's up to us remaining to bring on the light.
On Saturday, my training group reaches a harrowing 7 miles. Further than I've ever gone before. While I'm scared, I also know I can do what I can do. My potential is what comes out here. One day I won't be able to do any of it. Saturday is not that day. Saturday, I run for you Sherry.
Today, I want to bring some life and light into the ugliness that has to be acknowledged.
Sherry's cousin, a blogger I've been following for quite some time and have come to love, Shut Up and Run is announcing the 2nd annual virtual Run for Sherry. Happening on 2/9/13, it's a run to simply remember. To ensure that running is not a fading sport. To ensure that in the midst of tragedy, runners will run on. We may be scared out there, but we are not going to allow the bad to overcome the goodness only fellow runners can understand.
Without this sport, so many of us would never ever know our true potential. We would see other runners and be in awe of what they can do. Never understanding that the race or event we see is only about a tenth of the battle. The training, the time away from home, the aches, the pains, the missing toenails, the embarrassing occurrences...all of it remains to be seen to so many.
We would never know just how far we can push ourselves. We would never know just how much our bodies could do. We would never know just how strong we really are.
Runners are a breed of their own. I've come to acknowledge that over the past year. Rain, snow, thunder, hills, flood, Hurricane Sandy...it seems nothing can keep them down. The determination, the dedication, the will power to simply keep going is amazing. Whether or not I can be included in that breed, I have yet to determine. At times the title seems too great, as though I've not yet earned it. Other times, I take the title easily. I think it's truly an honor to be considered a runner.
I recently was with my training group out on a long winding trail near the river in my town. It's a popular spot for runners, walkers and bikers. As I'm still one of the slowest, I found myself far behind most of the group, not another trainee, coach or mentor in sight. Though my 'mates' were not there to encourage me, I was shocked at how many clearly experienced runners went by me telling me 'You look great.' 'You are doing it'. 'Good for you' ....Each and everyone I wondered "do I know you?"
No, I don't. They don't know me either. But it didn't matter. They saw me, obviously not having an easy go at it. They see that I'm a 'round runner' and they know how hard it is. Let's face it, even being the fit, thin, athletes they are, likely it's still hard for them too. Encouragement from stranger after stranger after stranger. It made me glow with pride, love and peace.
Where else in the world could I ever get that kind of support from perfect strangers?
I can't think of anywhere else, in any other situation.
It's reasons like this we need to run for Sherry. Print out the bib. Wear it with pride. It's possible, when you run on Saturday, someone might stop and ask you who she she is. Share her story. The fact that you run for a perfect stranger might touch them in a way that will bring some light to the world. It's possible someone else will be wearing the same bib. A common connection bringing strangers together. In the wake of such sad tragedy, it's up to us remaining to bring on the light.
On Saturday, my training group reaches a harrowing 7 miles. Further than I've ever gone before. While I'm scared, I also know I can do what I can do. My potential is what comes out here. One day I won't be able to do any of it. Saturday is not that day. Saturday, I run for you Sherry.
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Dark Side of Running-The Post I Hate.
I hate this post already. It's a subject that I don't want to post on, that I don't want to acknowledge, that I don't want to need. At all. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
Safety and Running.
Days before I started my first 'running school' back in January 2012, I read a post of fellow blogger "Shut Up And Run" that pretty much changed everything for me. It made me sick, it made me scared, it made me not want to run, it made me hate the world a little. The bloggers cousin, Sherry Arnold disappeared while on her morning run. In a tiny little rural town of Sydney, Montana, the world of runners was cracked open as one of their own was gone. Never to be seen alive again, the story of Sherry spread like wildfire.
I do not know the blogger, I do not know Sherry, or her family, friends, students. I've never been to Montana, nor at the time this happened was I much of a runner. But it struck me to the core. How many times had I been out and about on a walk, a run alone, music blaring, at dusk, before sunrise, even with strangers and oddities starting me in the face. Yes, of course everyone is always thinking 'it could have been me'. That's what we do.
A year has gone by. In that time, I've learned how to properly run. Form, breathing, pace, hydration, nutrition, cadence...the information I've learned is enormous. The things I've accomplished even more so. Three 5k's, 1 10K, a Progressive marathon and a half marathon relay, I've recently signed up for a Half Marathon and a Triathlon. Every step of the way, I've had safety on my mind first and foremost. I no longer run alone in my neighborhood. I no longer run alone when I can help it at all. Putting a strain on my training, yes, it does. My group of runner buds doesn't share the knowledge of what I've learned, and if they do, they likely don't seem to take it as 'personally' as I appear to. But I'll admit, I'm just scared.
The problem is, no matter how safe we think we are, were not. In the world lately it seems that everyone has gone crazy, gun happy, is anyone really safe? It's a hard call.
The tips of running safety are fairly basic.
- If you can do not run alone.
- If you do run alone, stay in a well lit, well populated area.
- Run with mace, pepper spray, stun gun or a dog.
-Make sure someone always knows your route and the approximate time you will be starting/stopping.
- Carry a phone with you at all times.
- If you must run at night, use a headlamp, flashlights, reflective clothing, shoes
- Avoid areas of dense bushes, trees if you can
- Alter your route, don't take the same route everyday.
- Don't run with loud music in both ears!
- Take a self defense class
I'm sure there are more...but depending on your own running area, practice, and style you should alter the safety practices to what your individual needs are.
Of course the safest way to get your mileage in? The treadmill inside. I keep telling myself one of these days I'm going to start training on the treadmill. But I hate it. That's a whole 'nother Oprah.
For now...stay safe. Don't ever take your good neighborhood, daylight hours,or kind neighbors for granted. You just never ever know.
Safety and Running.
Days before I started my first 'running school' back in January 2012, I read a post of fellow blogger "Shut Up And Run" that pretty much changed everything for me. It made me sick, it made me scared, it made me not want to run, it made me hate the world a little. The bloggers cousin, Sherry Arnold disappeared while on her morning run. In a tiny little rural town of Sydney, Montana, the world of runners was cracked open as one of their own was gone. Never to be seen alive again, the story of Sherry spread like wildfire.
I do not know the blogger, I do not know Sherry, or her family, friends, students. I've never been to Montana, nor at the time this happened was I much of a runner. But it struck me to the core. How many times had I been out and about on a walk, a run alone, music blaring, at dusk, before sunrise, even with strangers and oddities starting me in the face. Yes, of course everyone is always thinking 'it could have been me'. That's what we do.
A year has gone by. In that time, I've learned how to properly run. Form, breathing, pace, hydration, nutrition, cadence...the information I've learned is enormous. The things I've accomplished even more so. Three 5k's, 1 10K, a Progressive marathon and a half marathon relay, I've recently signed up for a Half Marathon and a Triathlon. Every step of the way, I've had safety on my mind first and foremost. I no longer run alone in my neighborhood. I no longer run alone when I can help it at all. Putting a strain on my training, yes, it does. My group of runner buds doesn't share the knowledge of what I've learned, and if they do, they likely don't seem to take it as 'personally' as I appear to. But I'll admit, I'm just scared.
The problem is, no matter how safe we think we are, were not. In the world lately it seems that everyone has gone crazy, gun happy, is anyone really safe? It's a hard call.
The tips of running safety are fairly basic.
- If you can do not run alone.
- If you do run alone, stay in a well lit, well populated area.
- Run with mace, pepper spray, stun gun or a dog.
-Make sure someone always knows your route and the approximate time you will be starting/stopping.
- Carry a phone with you at all times.
- If you must run at night, use a headlamp, flashlights, reflective clothing, shoes
- Avoid areas of dense bushes, trees if you can
- Alter your route, don't take the same route everyday.
- Don't run with loud music in both ears!
- Take a self defense class
I'm sure there are more...but depending on your own running area, practice, and style you should alter the safety practices to what your individual needs are.
Of course the safest way to get your mileage in? The treadmill inside. I keep telling myself one of these days I'm going to start training on the treadmill. But I hate it. That's a whole 'nother Oprah.
For now...stay safe. Don't ever take your good neighborhood, daylight hours,or kind neighbors for granted. You just never ever know.
Monday, January 28, 2013
I Got This...I Think.
On January 19, 2013 I started the Shamrock'n Half Marathon training.
Oh. My. God.
Ive been involved the learning-to-run program for a year now, so I am familiar with the program, I know quite a few people and coaches.
This is a whole new ballpark.
First day, I was astounded, literally astounded at how many people showed up. In the groups I'm used to the big groups are about 60 participants. While I don't know exactly how many I'd gauge that there are well over 100 people in this group. Maybe even 150+. So intimidation factor #1, the sheer size of the group.
Intimidation factor #2, is naturally the early morning cold. First Saturday, I noticed the pavement while doing some warm ups had a thin layer of ice on it. Fabulous! There's a sure fire way to slip and fall right on my ass. The cold was pretty severe and while y'all know I prefer the cold to the hot, this was tough. Wearing Capri workout pants instead of my usual shorts, gloves and a hat, I was still numb with cold. Yikes!
Intimidation factor #3, the others. Yes, I know I know...don't compare yourself to others. I fear this concept will take me years to master. It's pretty obvious there are quite a few really experienced runners in this group. I'm grateful that it's broken up into 4 groups depending on level. But still....damn, I feel like I'm beginning all over again. Frustrating, but eh, whatever. Too late to back out now. I'll do what I do...purge forward with reckless drive and just do it.
Intimidation factor #4, the fact that I took a rather long break between Thanksgiving and New Years is haunting me. While speaking to another participant, she mentioned she too took a long break of about 3 months. " Well, I was in a car accident...." yeah, I wanted to stop listening here, but I didn't.
" My back was really out of whack with injuries, sooo" Yeah, I can relate...not. Yeah I got nothing here. I was lazy & tired. That's about it.
But that being said, yesterday was our longest thus far, 4 miles. I did it. The beginning was brutal, as it always is, but after the 1.5 mile warm up, it got easier and easier. So I'm actually looking forward to the longer mileage as I know I'm a slow, slow starter, but then I can kick it up.
So there it is...all the reasons I'm intimidated as hell over this training. But as I've already registered for the Half Marathon, I've got no choices now. I'm purging forward. It's things like this that give me courage, give me confidence, to over come it all means I'm stronger than I thought.
Oh. My. God.
Ive been involved the learning-to-run program for a year now, so I am familiar with the program, I know quite a few people and coaches.
This is a whole new ballpark.
First day, I was astounded, literally astounded at how many people showed up. In the groups I'm used to the big groups are about 60 participants. While I don't know exactly how many I'd gauge that there are well over 100 people in this group. Maybe even 150+. So intimidation factor #1, the sheer size of the group.
Intimidation factor #2, is naturally the early morning cold. First Saturday, I noticed the pavement while doing some warm ups had a thin layer of ice on it. Fabulous! There's a sure fire way to slip and fall right on my ass. The cold was pretty severe and while y'all know I prefer the cold to the hot, this was tough. Wearing Capri workout pants instead of my usual shorts, gloves and a hat, I was still numb with cold. Yikes!
Intimidation factor #3, the others. Yes, I know I know...don't compare yourself to others. I fear this concept will take me years to master. It's pretty obvious there are quite a few really experienced runners in this group. I'm grateful that it's broken up into 4 groups depending on level. But still....damn, I feel like I'm beginning all over again. Frustrating, but eh, whatever. Too late to back out now. I'll do what I do...purge forward with reckless drive and just do it.
Intimidation factor #4, the fact that I took a rather long break between Thanksgiving and New Years is haunting me. While speaking to another participant, she mentioned she too took a long break of about 3 months. " Well, I was in a car accident...." yeah, I wanted to stop listening here, but I didn't.
" My back was really out of whack with injuries, sooo" Yeah, I can relate...not. Yeah I got nothing here. I was lazy & tired. That's about it.
But that being said, yesterday was our longest thus far, 4 miles. I did it. The beginning was brutal, as it always is, but after the 1.5 mile warm up, it got easier and easier. So I'm actually looking forward to the longer mileage as I know I'm a slow, slow starter, but then I can kick it up.
So there it is...all the reasons I'm intimidated as hell over this training. But as I've already registered for the Half Marathon, I've got no choices now. I'm purging forward. It's things like this that give me courage, give me confidence, to over come it all means I'm stronger than I thought.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Shoes of Lead
I agreed with myself that I'd get back on track after the New year...so here it is. The track. But why are my shoes filled with lead? Oh my.
I headed out to the track on 1/1/13, to head off my four mile walk. After a long night of fun, I knew that was about all I had in me. Silly me, I should have known better.
Meeting my big brother, I was ahead of him by .75 mile when he arrived- and we started in. It was my brilliant idea to hit up four miles, instead of the usual 3. By the time I actually hit 3 miles, I was dying. Literally dying. I had a hard time keeping up with the guy who weighs 150 lbs more than I do. I wasnt' running, I wasn't even jogging. I was walking. And it was hard. My feet were burning, which I realized my calluses softened up and needed to form again, my back was aching, it honestly felt like I had never walked before in my life.
Seriously?
So of course, as I do, I start to panic. What have I done? I took time off to relax, re-coup and it feels like I've lost running forever. How do I get it back? More intensely, I've got a 13.1 mile race in less than 3 months. Oh. My. God. How in the hell am I going to do this?
Day two of my headache today ( stopping all sugar again usually does this) and an overall feeling of crap, and I am in a whirlwind of fear and panic about what I've done to my body since Thanksgiving and how far down I've fallen, I'm not in such a good place. I also realize that as I've been doing for the past month or so, I'm still fighting off this horrific flu/cold/whatever you want to call it. I've not fully gotten it, thank God, but I can feel it creeping in, ready to attack. Keeping my immunity up has been a challenge, considering the illness is everywhere.
I started my workouts yesterday and I'm just going to keep going. Lord knows how far I can push myself, especially when right now I am still looking for the train that hit me. But I do know that just getting the motor started is the first step.
I plan on another workout tonight, then hopefully to bed early. Sleeping well is a big thing for me. When I am sick, sore, run down...sleeping well seems to always do it for me.
Of course, that in itself is a whole 'nother Oprah.....
So here goes nothing.
I will remember not to panic. I will remember to use fear as my energy. I will remember to always do what I can do. I will remember always to push just a little bit. I will remember to allow others to motivate and inspire me. I will remember that no matter how many people I'm with, who's there or not there, ultimately, it's my body that will cross the finish line....
I headed out to the track on 1/1/13, to head off my four mile walk. After a long night of fun, I knew that was about all I had in me. Silly me, I should have known better.
Meeting my big brother, I was ahead of him by .75 mile when he arrived- and we started in. It was my brilliant idea to hit up four miles, instead of the usual 3. By the time I actually hit 3 miles, I was dying. Literally dying. I had a hard time keeping up with the guy who weighs 150 lbs more than I do. I wasnt' running, I wasn't even jogging. I was walking. And it was hard. My feet were burning, which I realized my calluses softened up and needed to form again, my back was aching, it honestly felt like I had never walked before in my life.
Seriously?
So of course, as I do, I start to panic. What have I done? I took time off to relax, re-coup and it feels like I've lost running forever. How do I get it back? More intensely, I've got a 13.1 mile race in less than 3 months. Oh. My. God. How in the hell am I going to do this?
Day two of my headache today ( stopping all sugar again usually does this) and an overall feeling of crap, and I am in a whirlwind of fear and panic about what I've done to my body since Thanksgiving and how far down I've fallen, I'm not in such a good place. I also realize that as I've been doing for the past month or so, I'm still fighting off this horrific flu/cold/whatever you want to call it. I've not fully gotten it, thank God, but I can feel it creeping in, ready to attack. Keeping my immunity up has been a challenge, considering the illness is everywhere.
I started my workouts yesterday and I'm just going to keep going. Lord knows how far I can push myself, especially when right now I am still looking for the train that hit me. But I do know that just getting the motor started is the first step.
I plan on another workout tonight, then hopefully to bed early. Sleeping well is a big thing for me. When I am sick, sore, run down...sleeping well seems to always do it for me.
Of course, that in itself is a whole 'nother Oprah.....
So here goes nothing.
I will remember not to panic. I will remember to use fear as my energy. I will remember to always do what I can do. I will remember always to push just a little bit. I will remember to allow others to motivate and inspire me. I will remember that no matter how many people I'm with, who's there or not there, ultimately, it's my body that will cross the finish line....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)